I used to think that the worst thing you could do on LinkedIn was hold your grumpy looking cat in your Profile Picture. And while a poorly executed LinkedIn Profile Picture is still considered one of the highest LinkedIn offenses, I’ve recently stumbled upon another self-damaging disaster:
Poorly written LinkedIn Headline Job Titles
Below, IntaPeople (a UK-based recruitment consultancy) lists the “10 strangest job titles on LinkedIn”:*
- Digital Overlord
- Creator of Happiness
- Retail Jedi
- Wizard of Light Bulb Moments
- Dream Alchemist
- Chief Chatter
- Change Magician
- Accounting Ninja
- Chief Biscuit Dunker
- Direct Mail Demi-God
Here are a few of my “favorite” Headline Job Title Catastrophes:
Solar Specialist – Is this person a sun-worshipping tanning addict? A Los Angeles weatherman? Or is she Professor Trelawney, crystal gazing to see if you’re going to accept her “Link Request” ?
Audio Communications – Is this person a Lyngdorf stereo? Morse Code?
Results Catalyst – I guess this is better than “Fire Starter”. Drew Berrymore already has that job title sewn up.
Geek, Author – I appreciate the honesty, but pointing out you’re a geek probably won’t help you attract many job offers.
Region Head – Is this like a Talking Head, but larger?
Entertainment Professional – I hope women who work in the “World’s Oldest Profession” aren’t using LinkedIn to attract customers.
General – How can this person be a general when they weren’t even in the military!
Creator – Well, at least they didn’t say there were: “THE Creator.”
Changemaker – Anybody have change for a $5?
Happiness Advisor – As a Coach, I’m all about helping people find happiness and success, but “Happiness Advisor” is a bit over the top as a Professional Job Title.
Have you seen any bizarre or humorous LinkedIn Headlines? Share them below!